When I am stressed, funny things happen. I get easily confused; I walk around aimlessly; I act like an idiot. None of these are as bad as an eye that twitches. I know it is my body telling me that I need to rest. But I really dread it. It just makes me feel more stressed since I know I am already stressed.
Also what stresses me out is the conversations I have with other Christians online, specifically at ChristianPost.com. I try, I mean I really try, to be patient with them in their thinking. But I can't help it, sometimes I just get tired of some people's condemnation of anything or anyone that disagrees with them on anything.
Maybe I talk to the wrong kind of people. Brian McLaren once told me that someday these people will die, and we will not have to deal with that type of thinking anymore. Maybe so. I just feel bad for these people because they live under this false impression that their way is only way to look at the world, and if people do not conform to that way, then they are going to hell. McLaren's advice in this sense is very relevant. Some people just will not change, even a bit. So, what we have to do is invest our time in the next generation, making sure that it does not fall prey to the same mistakes of the generation preceding it.
This probably makes me sound really bitter and pretentious. That is not my intent. I'd rather think that my attempts are aimed at helping Christians provide a better witness to the world. I am not trying to convert them to my ideology, as much as I am trying to help them see the limits of their own. We all have to after all conform ourselves to Christ, and this is not done in a single-minded manner.
Add to this the fact that I do not know if I really want to be a Pastor if I am forced to deal with these kinds of people. In that case, I would much rather be a Professor, where I do not have to deal with the trials of ministry.
That will really make your eye twitch.
Not only do I find myself stressed over the tasks at hand, the people that I encounter, but I have to deal with a vocational dilemma that strikes at the heart of my existence.
But, alas, tomorrow is another day of living in God's love. It cannot be that bad....can it?
I'd say it's enough to make you wanna get raptured.
ReplyDeleteHang in there buddy. When this happens to me I often go to my music...specifically Michael Card. I listen to his song "The Prophet" and the African Spiritual "Walk With Me, Lord". I think the slaves in early America knew something of endurance and the hope that comes from Jesus suffering WITH US.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I remember the humanness of Jesus and the suffering that He endured. (The prophet weeps the tears of the world to God and he also weeps the tears of God to the world). Michael Card has really helped me with the spiritual discipline of lament. This might take the form of watching a religious movie (like The Passion).
Anyway, take comfort in Christ.
Dude, check out the last couple comments on my blog entry about the Way.
ReplyDeleteSarah was raised in the Way. That's all I'll say on this. Next time I see you (this spring maybe?) we'll talk more.
ReplyDeleteDude, you will be an awesome pastor.
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