You watch the news daily. You talk amongst your friends about world occurrences. Your family dinners and reunions seem to be traps designed to prick your worst emotions about sensitive topics.
And what does all this get you? An unhappy, stressful, angry, hate-filled, pessimistic life.
You end up feeling like the world is going to hell in a handbasket and you are just another helpless and hapless victim.
It is all too much to shoulder--especially when you have enough personal problems piling up (taxes, raising a family, saving money, financial debt, and so on, ad nauseam).
This is why some people avoid any situation which causes them extra anxiety. They turn off their TVs; they avoid opening their mouths at family reunions; they turn away from conversations with friends that lead to touchy subjects.
By doing these things people stay joyfully aloof, embodying the principle that "ignorance is bliss."
You can't blame them for doing this either. You are tempted to do it yourself. It has the appeal of idyllic life, shut off from the rest of the world and its problems. (Could this be, tangentially, one of the reasons why libertarianism is so attractive?--"you stay where you are and I will stay where I am and we will all be happy, right?").
The only problem is that being aloof only produces an artificial form of happiness. Being ignorant, especially willfully ignorant, is never adequate to the life of happiness. It may seem that way; you may even be convinced that it is that way. But it isn't.
What makes being aloof attractive is in itself not the problem. We all need to get some distance from the world's problems. After all, even though it may appear that way, it is not our responsibility to shoulder every single problem the world goes through. The problem with being aloof is that it makes you look the fool but more importantly it makes it nearly impossible to live a life of happiness, true happiness.
The happiness I speak of here is what the Greeks called "eudaimonia". Commonly translated as simply "happiness", it would be more appropriate to translate it as "human flourishing" since the aim is not simply momentary happiness or happiness for the sake of happiness but rather happiness which leads to intellectual, moral and emotional growth.
Those who remain aloof, by taking the path of least resistance, even though it is attractive to do so considering all that happens in the world, can never obtain eudaimonia simply because they refuse contact with the rest of the world.
Obviously what we are aiming for in seeking eudaimonia is not the opposite of being aloof--that is, being obsessively connected with the world. What we aim for is being aloof yet connected. That may sound like an impossible position to posit let alone live into but the desired goal is to live such a life that knows when to disconnect and when to connect. Such a position is therefore more about a process of activity rather than an achieved state. In fact a state in which 'being aloof yet connected' might not even exist as a possibility but if lived in the process of actively aiming for it we obtain the next closest thing: a state of equanimity.
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For myself, I have aimed for eudaimonia and have had to struggle with how to best remain aloof yet connected. I will not pretend that I have the secret formula for achieving success but I have made some observations about how to be happy in a bad news world which I believe can be helpful to others.
These observations have developed as a result of my growing frustration with the news media (in all its forms) and conversations I have had with family and friends. For a time I thought that getting a better handle on the facts, on the ins and outs of politics, religion, and government, that I would be able to be happy. I also believed that if I changed my sources from which I received my information that it would make this process easier. Long story short: it didn't.
So here are the observations I have made (feel free to discuss and add to them):
1. Moving from the need to acquire facts to the ability to understand the world.
2. Moving from the need to have an opinion for everything to the ability to form one when appropriate.
3. Moving from the need to fix things to the ability to know when to fix, if things need to be fixed and whether you are the person to fix it.
4. Moving from the need to criticize things to the ability to constructively build a better world.
As you can tell, from my list, the path to eudaimonia and equanimity focuses more on producing abilities for certain things than filling needs. This does not mean that filling needs is necessarily bad. (We still need to give to charities). Please do not hijack this list and use it to say that everyone needs to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps. This is not what this list is meant to do. The purpose of it is to provide people with the ability to be aloof yet connected so that they can stay happy in a bad news world.
Hopefully my observations will help you in your journey to happiness.
If I get overloaded with stress I sometimes go "monk" and cloister myself-- lots of sleeping, reading, music and not thinking about the world.
ReplyDeleteI guess its just finding a balance of when to engage and disengage.
I like your list, too, but don't have anything to add at the moment.
Good stuff, Caleb. Amazingly, my own post today has a similar topic. One thing I noticed at the end, though, was the way you used "need" as sort of the counter-example. I didn't so much disagree with what you said specifically, but I have found that in my own life, I am closer to that Greek term you used for happiness when I am most in touch with my own needs, desire, and pain, and thus I become aware of those things in others. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteb-row, amen about going the way of the "monk." There are whole days where I dedicate myself to reading, music and other stuff.
ReplyDeleteschumes, I agree. I think it is important to distinguish between what you need and what you think you need. If you are able to do that, I think the pathe to "happiness" is much easier.
"Those who remain aloof, by taking the path of least resistance, even though it is attractive to do so considering all that happens in the world, can never obtain eudaimonia simply because they refuse contact with the rest of the world."
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't equate the desire to avoid drowning in the world's sorrows with "taking the path of least resistance." There are plenty of people who lead challenging, well-informed lives, and yet don't feel the need to obsess over bad news.
That being said, I liked the bit about "remaining aloof yet connected." Balance is key in virtually every aspect of life.